"Laugh and the World will Laugh with You"

People love to give me a hard time.  I'm not sure when that started, but I can't remember a time when someone wasn't teasing me in a good-natured way. Truthfully, I don't mind, and - as a a parent - I especially don't mind because I think it sets a good example for my kids about the importance of learning to laugh at yourself.  In fact, I've often been known to tell my children that if they can't learn to laugh at themselves, then they'll be the only ones not laughing when the rest of the world is laughing at them.  In other words, laugh and the world laughs with you.  But choose not to find humor in the situation, and the rest of the world is laughing at you instead of with you.

And, seriously, everybody teases me about something.  My wonderful neighbor likes to tease me about my passion for Mickey Mouse; my husband enjoys teasing me about being geographically challenged; even the Schwann's Man enjoyed teasing me earlier this year about my Christmas tree still being up in February.  It seems that Open Season for teasing Cathie is 365 days per year.

As you can probably imagine, then, my kids love to give me a hard time.  Sometimes I think they stay up late at night just thinking of different ways to tease me.  In that way, I think my children and I have a somewhat unique relationship.  That is to say that I couldn't begin to imagine teasing my own mom when I was their ages.

Recently, I injured my back and I've been hobbling around the house complaining about how bad I hurt.  This has started a whole round of new scenarios for which my children have taken full advantage.  They've offered to buy me a cane or to borrow Gramma's scooter for me to get around in.  And they never hesitate to tell their friends how "old" I am...at 40.  

The other day I asked Amber (15) if she could tell me what types of things she does when she injures her back in gymnastics.  I wanted her to give me ideas on how I could lessen the pain.  She told me I had to sit on the floor with  my legs straight out in front of me, then lean forward as far as I could and try to grab my feet.  When I was done with that, I was supposed to roll back and try to bring my butt up over my shoulders and my feet up over my head.  Those two things, she said, would help stretch out the muscles in my back and would make it feel better.

First of all, I should warn you that I'm 40 and, to be honest, I'm not in the most limber of shapes.  I've done Yoga and I've learned that I not only have no elasticity to my body, but I also have zero coordination and not an ounce of balance.  But, I wanted to feel better, so I sat on the floor and attempted to follow Amber's advice.

Well, the first part went reasonably well.  I sat on the floor and stretched several times until I was finally able to grab my feet...for about a second.  And, truly, it wasn't that bad.  My next step was to roll my feet up over my head and I figured that should be simple.  Easy peasy, right?  Ummm...wrong.

Not only did I look ridiculous and never was able to roll those feet entirely over my head, but then I got stuck on the floor and couldn't get up!!!  My back hurt too bad to get up on my own!  And those bratty kids of mine?  They're laughing so hard they have tears flowing down their faces, and they're almost to the point of hyperventilating from laughing so hard.

"Quick, Sister!" Braden said.  "Get the phone!  We gotta call 9-1-1!"

"Oh no you don't," I said!  "Don't you dare call 9-1-1!!!"

"But you said to call 9-1-1 if you were ever on the floor and couldn't get up," he said.

"Yeah, Mom!" joined Amber.  "You're on the floor and you can't get up.  We need to call 9-1-1."

"I said to call 9-1-1 if I was on the floor unconscious and couldn't get up, you brats!  Now help me up and don't you dare call 9-1-1!"

By this time, Amber and Braden were laughing so hard that there was no way they could help. I'm not sure they'd have been able to get themselves up off the floor, they were laughing so hard!  And, to be honest, they'd set off a fit of giggles for myself as well, which was making it just that much more difficult. 

"C'mon, Am...help me up," I pleaded.

"Nah...I don't think so," she said.  "I think I'm gonna leave you there.  You look HOT!"

Well, needless to say, they were completely useless.  I did finally get up off the floor by myself and, to be honest, I do think her stretches were somewhat helpful.  However, at this time, I'm seriously considering moving to Nebraska where frustrated parents can drop their children off at the nearest hospital and make a run for it without legal penalty.

Nah...I wouldn't really do that.  My life would be rather boring without them.